It's new years eve 2008. Since I turned 30 in september I've lost first one boyfriend and then after, then my job after three and a half years, and now it looks like a lot friends on top of it, and I've moved to a new city away from northampton where I'd lived for five years and felt really comfortable.
So I'm opting to spend new years this year by myself in my little apartment.
There's been too many major betrayals recently, my foundation is shattered and I just can't see even trying to be around people right now.
It's been over 24 hours since I've been able to speak without starting to cry about, so it doesn't even make sense.
I guess it's sad in a way, but I just took this long walk by myself in the freezing cold and wind and ice and snow, in the dark, and walking by myself in the dark kind of crying quietly and looking up at the very faint crescent moon through the clouds....it seemed like one of the most honest new years eve's I've had in a while.
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1 comment:
ah.
lovely, true, deep goodness:
"I just took this long walk by myself in the freezing cold and wind and ice and snow, in the dark, and walking by myself in the dark kind of crying quietly and looking up at the very faint crescent moon through the clouds....it seemed like one of the most honest new years eve's I've had in a while."
I like it. It's harrrrrrd, but the last line, especially, rings so true, to me too. I like it a lot. I might need to steal this line, to write in my own journal "it seemed like one of the most honest new years eve's I've had in a while."
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