Friday, August 22, 2008

How I've successfully not lost my mind so far.

I'm not entirely sure. After day after day where I feel like I work as hard as I possibly can, so much that I can't breathe or think, and still it's not good enough.

But today someone was rubbing my neck in the booth, and remarked that I didn't really feel that tense. Which is amazing, since I always carry all my stress and tension in my body.

I've been trying so hard to be present, to be in my body, to stretch and to breathe.

Getting up early, taking my walks in the morning, taking time to stand barefoot in the grass and look at my flowers in the early morning. Driving home at night with all the windows open, listening to music I love loud. Sitting in the sun on my breaks and letting my mind go blank. Bubble baths.

Reading my animal card every morning and thinking about it and trying to act accordingly.

Allowing myself certain daydreams as a guilty pleasure.

Noticing the weather.

Being barefoot as much as possible.

Standing in yoga positions whenever I can. Dancing as I cook and water the plants.

Making sure I take notice of small physical things that bring me pleasure, taking that moment in the morning to enjoy snuggling against my sheets, taking naps in the afternoon with my windows open.

And buying myself Dogfish Head pumpkin beer, good cheese, Spicy Thai kettle chips, and a heirloom tomato before I left work today. Getting home and taking some old paintings of mine out of the attic and hanging them in the hall, to remind me of who I am.

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