Monday, November 19, 2007

i am a cranky bitch

or so it seems. i keep getting super frustrated that i can't do things for myself. then i attempt them myself instead of asking for help. then i get more frustrated and get into what is sort of tantrum mood. then i get mad at myself because i feel stupid having to ask greg for every little thing. and when greg gets annoyed that i am asking for help with every little thing, i get angry and we have a fight. although he's really being very very patient, he is. sometimes there is just a whole serious of things in a row i can't do. zip my sweatshirt, tie my snowboots, open a bottle of juice, get my coat on, drive the car, hold the basket of groceries, quickly get out my wallet. that sequence is a recipe for a fight right there. i can't understand why i can't be more gracious. i mean to. i am grateful. but i hate to ask for help, and i seem to be taking my anger at myself for needing help out on whoever's helping me. mostly greg. what's up with that? someone should send that boy a fruit basket. he's had a rough week here with me, poor guy. why can't i act a little more mature? i do not know.

oh dear.

oh well. the snow looks lovely out the window, and i am pretending i am curled up in a ski lodge. i am had a pain killer, and i may soon have some hot chocolate. then i'm going to watch season 6 of buffy on the dvd boxed set katie lent me. not so bad. perhaps this will all improve my temperment.

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